When we do something REALLY uber stupid, if it's public (quantifying "public": 1 or more persons) we loose face and Chiclets. And dude, those Chiclets are harder to replace than they are to eat.
I'm a little hungry and must construct myself a sandwich to ward away the imminent drop in blood sugar which makes it even harder to focus on the things which matter.
However I hate on myself for being the only one who would do this, we all go through some variation of it: feelings of inadequacy and absolute IDIOTRY (which can breed "fear and loathing" of oneself). I must write that it's quite comforting to know that I'm not alone in this endeavor. That's when the problems begin: when one feels one is alone in this whole adventure. The next step is an inward spiral of disgust and self-comparison. After that? Well, we become catatonic and die. Just kidding. Perhaps that's a drastic end to the story, but my goal is to scare us all back into the mode of glowing self/situational-awareness which can buoy us through ANYTHING.
Before the LIVESTRONG bracelets became vogue and gently shackled writs all over the globe, I served as one of the connectors at the local Day Camp. I played at this camp with the lofty position title of Games Specialist (Yes, folks, if you search for them, the most bonus jobs can be found).
For a High School boy of intra-pubescent age and temperament, I found it quite rejuvenating to work with children who ALL have questions and nervous energy to streamline. Children are gorgeous like that: they have nothing but potential, and have far more depth than one could possibly believe, but sometimes they require a prod in the right direction. The Games Specialist played the facilitator-and-connector part to these smiling intricacies. I incorporated cardio, cohesion, cooperation and a number of other characteristics into games I constructed with items from the Bag-o-Fun, with a healthy swath of imagination.
Each of these "intricacies" is an INDIVIDUAL complete with their own insecurities, energy, confusion, knowledge, and freakin' joy! To work with these little people required that I achieve a calm mind, for only in THAT unique state of OM was I able to both engage and keep track of them all!
So this camp had a lovely Dance Director named Steph. She was never one to falter in the energy department, a trait which graces many dancer/actor/theatre people I've bumped into. One fine day she handed me this small plastic bag which fit around it's contents like the circle around the Vitruvian Man. Steph told me to give her a dollar for it so I obliged and looked at the odd package, expecting that the next move involve donning.
I noticed the word "LIVESTRONG" indented on the rubber. Dilemma: which WAY does it go on? Should I display the word writ large on the wrist for public viewing, or should I face the word for my eyes to read?
Then it hit me: I was trying to BE there for 700+ beautiful children, of all ages, and I realized that it HAD to face out, upsidown to my eyes.
Two things which comforted me about this final decision: 1. I COULD (and still am able to) read upsidown and 2. I could use it as a statement-in-apparel for the children. I could tell them from where it came, the brilliant marketing it embodied as a way to increase awareness and monetary funds for research to thwart a heinous disease...Most importantly I could tell them why they should ALL "livestrong" as they conquer those excitements during the game; as they reached far, but sometimes just not far enough to catch a ball; how they do require the healthy net of their team-members to aid in this gaming endeavor; how they could BE tough and not feel bad about losing or winning, but that they had PLAYED is what mattered. Of course you know I'm not talking entirely about a Day Camp game...LIVESTRONG for all I figured.
Today I realized that after all these years of sporting the band outwards for others, as I'm a little off balance, it would be helpful to turn it inward. One must learn to find when to turn in and when to turn out.
So today, if only for the short while it'll take me to reset, I don't have to read upsidown...
